If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
