I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
