FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So squirting runs in the family.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
