I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
