And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
