cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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