If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
420 ftw
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Let's get the cat blown out
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
