I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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