The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
