he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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