420 ftw
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
