you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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