strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
