never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
