I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
