Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
