making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
did i just pee glitter
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
