hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
