he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
