@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
