is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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