I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dignity is for republicans.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
