Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
