you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
