I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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