Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
