I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
