Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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