Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
