I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I take back everything I said about communal showers
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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