Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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