if you like me you must not know who I am
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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