Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
