you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
