It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
