do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
