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using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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