Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
