Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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