my vag is so smooth its legendary
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
