a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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