sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
