Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
