Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
