oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
