It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
