we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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