she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
