Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
