May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
