my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
